Trying to get by, get thru

Do we ever really take a step back and focus more on what's around us rather than just what's in front of us? Do we remember to stop and 'smell the roses' or do we pass them by, hurrying for the next meeting? We take so much for granted that we forget what we do have and focus on what we don't. What drives us shouldn't be money, or things. It should be life, family, friends...those blessings we were gifted with that we tend to overlook or not pay attention to completely. I'm still working on trying to figure out my place in life. I have been hit hard with things recently that have made me look more at myself and notice that I am missing a lot out of life. And if I have learned anything in the last 6 months or so, it is that life is too short to try and hurry thru it. The only thing that has kept me sane in these last few months have been my family. I look at my kids and see that they are growing up way too fast and time just doesn't want to be kind and slow down. No one said life was easy. No one said you will make it thru unscathed. There are times I feel like I can't breathe, I can't get thru the next minute, as I am missing something, someone extremely vital in my life. Then I remember that out of anyone I have ever known, she was the strongest, most loving and remarkable woman I have ever met. If I can be even a 1/4 of what she was, I can make it thru. 

My dad told me today, after me going on about how I am having issues juggling all of this...career woman, mother, wife, maid, etc. that I had the perfect example of how it was done. She made everything look easy and I know for certain it is anything but. There are times where I feel lost and during these times I would turn to the one person I could always talk to and she would tell me what to do or at least listen to my rants. I miss that. So much. I missing being able to call at random times and just talk. Times like these, where I think if only I had more time, I think about that song by Cher 'If I could turn back time'. If only I had a little more time. More time to say what I needed to say. More time to tell her how much she meant to me. More time to just let her know that she was superwoman in my eyes. But as they say, hindsight is 20/20. We always look back and think, well I could have done that better, if only I had known what was to come. So, I may not be able to talk to her, to get her input any longer, but I do think about what she would do, what she would tell me. Not the same, but as close as I can get. I try and be strong, but there are some days where I just don't have the energy to be strong, to be that person she was. I just don't compare. But I do know this. She gave me the foundation I needed to succeed. I just to take it one day at a time and remember that she will always be with me. I miss you, mom!