Trying to get by, get thru

Do we ever really take a step back and focus more on what's around us rather than just what's in front of us? Do we remember to stop and 'smell the roses' or do we pass them by, hurrying for the next meeting? We take so much for granted that we forget what we do have and focus on what we don't. What drives us shouldn't be money, or things. It should be life, family, friends...those blessings we were gifted with that we tend to overlook or not pay attention to completely. I'm still working on trying to figure out my place in life. I have been hit hard with things recently that have made me look more at myself and notice that I am missing a lot out of life. And if I have learned anything in the last 6 months or so, it is that life is too short to try and hurry thru it. The only thing that has kept me sane in these last few months have been my family. I look at my kids and see that they are growing up way too fast and time just doesn't want to be kind and slow down. No one said life was easy. No one said you will make it thru unscathed. There are times I feel like I can't breathe, I can't get thru the next minute, as I am missing something, someone extremely vital in my life. Then I remember that out of anyone I have ever known, she was the strongest, most loving and remarkable woman I have ever met. If I can be even a 1/4 of what she was, I can make it thru. 

My dad told me today, after me going on about how I am having issues juggling all of this...career woman, mother, wife, maid, etc. that I had the perfect example of how it was done. She made everything look easy and I know for certain it is anything but. There are times where I feel lost and during these times I would turn to the one person I could always talk to and she would tell me what to do or at least listen to my rants. I miss that. So much. I missing being able to call at random times and just talk. Times like these, where I think if only I had more time, I think about that song by Cher 'If I could turn back time'. If only I had a little more time. More time to say what I needed to say. More time to tell her how much she meant to me. More time to just let her know that she was superwoman in my eyes. But as they say, hindsight is 20/20. We always look back and think, well I could have done that better, if only I had known what was to come. So, I may not be able to talk to her, to get her input any longer, but I do think about what she would do, what she would tell me. Not the same, but as close as I can get. I try and be strong, but there are some days where I just don't have the energy to be strong, to be that person she was. I just don't compare. But I do know this. She gave me the foundation I needed to succeed. I just to take it one day at a time and remember that she will always be with me. I miss you, mom!

Imagination

My mother has a theory that as children, we should hold on to childish things as long as we can. Though I can agree to that to a certain extent, I wonder if society has just made that impossible. I look at my kids and I have one child, for sure, who has an incredible imagination. Ethen has ADHD and he has so much going on in that head of his, that I am surprised at what he comes up with, but he definitely will say or do the most weird things, but all wraps around what he is thinking about. Devin follows him in this aspect. You see, for whatever reason, Devin hasn't had that great of an imagination.  He has one, but he doesn't use it all that well.  That is what Ethen is for. Ethen drags Devin into these games and scenarios and he is seriously just along for the ride. Tonight, I have no idea as to what the game was really, other than bad guy vs good guy, but they had Chloe in the mix. Now, she is 2 1/2 and is developing her imagination quite well, but I never really thought she was that good until tonight. The boys were fighting against each other and what was Chloe doing? She was lying on the floor, pretending her hands were tied behind her back and that there was tap over her mouth (I assume tap) so she couldn't speak, awaiting Devin to come and save her.  Amazing, really what a young mind can do, with just a little help.

I love my imagination and am really glad that my kids have some form of an imagination. I may not understand why we want our kids to grow up so quickly, but I hope that though they will slowly turn from childish things, that they always remember that with an imagination, they can do anything. ;-)

Do we push children to grow up too fast?

You know, I am wondering what we, as parents, really want when we put our kids into the many sports, after school programs, etc. Is it to be active, to make friends, to learn to play nice with others? I would love to think so, but with how competitive human nature is, it is probably not true. I wonder if I am failing my kids because I am not putting them into every single sport I can, as that seems to be the trend. If the kids want it, then yes, they should be in it. But what happens when the kid really does not want to play, but have no choice? Maybe this is coming from the fact that I wasn't in sports and it could be that I just never found that fit when it came to sports. Sports for me consisted of socializing, and let me tell ya, I am pretty good at that, or at least was. Obviously we do not want our children to be lazy, but when is a good time to really start all the activities? It seems we start them so early, in my opinion, that they begin to lose that part of them that are children and focus more on the competitive side. Not saying this as a judgmental deal. Each parent has a right to do what they think is best for their children, but I personally believe that they need to experience more of the mundane, fun things that they can do, more so than learning how to be the best in a sport before they even reach the age of 10, unless that is the child's choice. My kids know that they will have to pick a sport and stick with it all through middle school and high school. Don't care what that sport is, but I want them to do that. Not because I want them to have that scholarship or go professional. I want them to be active in something, as they are more like me than I would like to admit. I want them to learn more about being on a team and what that means. I don't care if they are the best. Only care that they do their best. But seriously, before that becomes a part of who they are, I want them to enjoy being a kid, with very little responsibilities besides that of chores. We become adults too quickly and forget that there was a time, when everything was so simple and easy.  Where life was fun and exciting. When sports become all the children know and understand and for whatever reason, they cannot do them anymore, what happens to them? Life ends for them, at least for awhile.

So here is my point in all the babbling. I believe we need to let children be children, even for just a little while. 18 years, out of a good 75 years of a life, is all we get for being a kid, before we are pushed into a world most are not ready for and do not completely understand. If sports are important, then by all means, teach them that, but also ensure they know that sports are to be fun, entertaining, and a big learning experience. There is no harm in enjoying the sport, but there is when a sport becomes more than just having fun and playing a game, especially in children who are so, so young. Competition is not what life is about. Life is about living and enjoying what is around us and what we are doing with those lives. To me, competition takes the fun out of living.

(just a reminder, this is not a judgmental piece. I am not in any way pointing fingers. This is my reasoning on why my children aren't in every sport imaginable. Am I right? For my family, yes, but then, it might be that one day my own children will think I was wrong. So who knows. :-D)